Fancy Some Ladder Jokes? Read On!

Sometimes we look at serious topics such as injury, first aid and reviews of ladder and access equipment, but this blog entry is a bit of a change.  We're going to arm you with some of the best ladder related jokes we've heard!

• Micky was working so hard carrying bricks up and down a ladder that his work mate started to get worried about him. "Why are you working so hard Micky?" he asked.  "Don't worry," Micky replied, "˜I've got them fooled, it's the same load of bricks each time."

• Why did the man bring a ladder to a party? He heard the drinks were on the house

• Little Johnny runs inside his house shouting "Mum, Mum, come quick, I've knocked the ladder over outside".  His mother replies, "Well don't tell me, tell your Dad about it".  Little Johnny answers back, "He already knows, he's hanging off the roof!"

• The other day I dreamt I'd died and gone to heaven.  At the pearly gates St Peter handed me a piece of chalk and told me that to get to heaven I had to climb a ladder one rung at a time, writing a sin I'd committed on each rung.  When I had confessed all my sins I'd reach heaven.  So, I started up the ladder, clinging on and writing down everything I'd ever done wrong, one rung at a time.  Suddenly I felt my fingers getting crushed. I looked up, and there, to my amazement, was my boss coming back down for more chalk.

• Notice on a building site:  Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

• How do you get down from a ladder?  You don't get down from a ladder, you get down from a duck.

• Why did the music teacher need a ladder?  To reach the high notes.

• A group of high level managers is given a corporate bonding exercise in which they must measure the length of the flagpole at the front of their building.  They take a ladder and a tape measure but have a hard time setting up the ladder, not falling off it and generally struggle to get anywhere near completing the task.  An engineer at the company walks by and realises what they're trying to do.  He walks over to them, pulls the flagpole out of the ground and lays it flat. Easily measuring from one end to the other, he hands the measurement to the team leader and walks away.  "Typical engineer", remarks the leader, "we're looking for the height and he gives us the length."

• I fell off a 50 foot ladder yesterday.  Good thing I was on the bottom rung!

• I've just got a foot on the housing ladder, but it's not all it's cracked up to be.  I can't get the land on one side because of a utilities dispute, there's no water and I keep getting parking fines.  My Dad's so competitive when it comes to Monopoly.

• A tourist in London is looking up at Big Ben in wonderment.  A passing con-man thinks he might be able to make a quick buck, so he goes up to the tourist and offers to sell him the clock for £1000.  He tells the tourist "you give me the £1000 and I'll go and get a ladder".  The tourist hands over his cash, and the con-man does a runner.  The next day he walks past and sees the tourist still waiting there.  Thinking he can try this trick again he goes up to the man and offers to sell him the clock for £1000, "you give me £1000 and I'll go and get the ladder" he says.  ˜I'm no fool" says the tourist, "this time, you wait and I'll get the ladder.

• Today's been strange.  Everywhere I turned there were people on the ground clutching their heads and screaming.  I would have stopped to help but there was nowhere to put my ladder down.

• I phoned the newspaper to check how much it was to advertise in the classifieds.  They said it's £2 per inch, but I'm selling a 40 foot ladder, it's going to cost a bomb!

• I told my boss that I love my job and I'm keen to climb the company ladder. So tomorrow I've got to clean the upstairs windows.

So – how many made you groan?